My mother is not released..she is still grasping to this world.

It would seem that mamma is still calling Nelson my brother from the dead land line.  See I know she is haunting the house cause the folks who bought it have it on the market again.  They told my brother they wanted a bigger house and the wife said she heard things.  Well I bet if I was to go into the house mom would still be there.  She was a suborn woman.  All those nights pacing the floors, talking to her dead grandmother all hours.  Yes, I am sure she is still there.  I have gone to the graves, she is not there, the ashes I have, she is not connected to, but the house....oh lord.  I heard about us losing that house every month. Mom and dad were poor always struggling to keep everything.  Dad would get worried and mom would upset him and make him think we would lose the house.  My brother and I were so over the house that once they had died, we sold it as fast as we could.  We neither one loved the house like they did and I am sure upset my mother's spirit by not keeping the house.  Like when I was cleaning the house out after she died, I could hear her lighting ciggys and pacing the floor. I did what I do with most spirits lost try to tell them their time is done, their flesh is gone, and to move on.  She seemed to have listened with a RED BIRD at her grave that flew away.  But I am sure once other people were in HER house she came back, no cares for the living, and started haunting again.  In this case I am not sure what to do, the next measure I take with ghosts or spirits who will not release themselves is to send them to oblivion. WHAT I KNOW that is not very PC or NEW AGE or whatever you want to call it.  That step is usually a last resort and very very very draining and dangerous.  I can have it back fire and I have seen it back fire.  I learned a long time ago it was something I had to do with NO WITNESSES cause the ghosts would hop into whoever was there to get a ride out.   So with this I am stumped.  This is my mother, not some old woman in a old house, or a lil girl from a fire, or some old man after a railroad accident.  This is the real deal my flesh and blood.  I am stumped and it is hard to look for guidance with this one cause I know so few death mages (for a better term) like me.  I know a ton of witches and new agers and the like but not a ton speak freely and openly about their dealings with spirits and ghosts.  And I do not need to hire someone for something  I know who to do.  I am at a crossroads.  The house will stay on the market and my brother will keep getting hushed calls from a dead line.  Now for my brother I need to have a chat with him about letting her go and making sure he has.  NOT IN a we cannot love her and remember her, but in a mom had abilities and we are dealing with someone who joked about haunting us.  I mean this is not like some normal soccer mom, this was a tiny woman with a warped mind.  I Am gonna have to keep researching what steps I can take with out a army of "helpers" getting in the way or thinking I need to spend my money on them helping.

Mom was a fiery lil Scorpio.  She had her head in the stars all the time.  She was also bi-polar or what I called touched with knowledge.  She could hear and see things, she could tell you what I sounded like before I was born, she told me stories of my great grandmother and her sage and her dark skin, all her herbs drying and how she could skin and clean an animal in mere seconds. I do not by any means come from weak women.  I come from strong willed women, tough women, secretive women, and magic women.  My mom would make "spells" of our wounds and cook things for us to eat and drink from our own woods.  She was rather tough but also broken her mother was unkind, and abusive.  Her mother did not like her dreaming and being wild.  Her mother hated her own mother for all those reasons, She was angry, sad, and painfully normal.  Mom however was a witch in a Wendy's uniform.  My mom was amazing and would channel and scare the shit out of the neighbors.  She had a hard time with friends, cause she would freak them out over time, or scare them with her mood changes.  She also had a hard time with people coming to our house, she would bar the doors, and sometimes hide herself, and us til they left.  Mom was there for me when i said what I could hear and see.  She fought to keep them from taking me from her cause I did not fit into the norm mold of the world.  My mom was so simple yet so complex, I loved her with all of me never once hating her, or being scared of how sometimes she had a different voice, or look to her.  But now, now she is gone from the flesh, and NOT at rest.

Customizing a release will be hard. I need to get into the house and not have people lingering over me.  I wonder if I could contact the company selling it to look at it, but sadly the saleperson will not leave my side I am sure.  I have tried to deal with haunted houses on the market and it is a time getting those salespeople to let you be in a room ALONE for more then 10mins, I have my release working down to a art. But this is my mom, I cannot just send her on with out a direction or can I?  In my 36 years I have only dealt with 4 spritis aka ghosts who fought back and eventually got away from me.  Those ghosts had a kinda wisdom to them beyond my workings outside of my abilities.  One jumped onto someone and to this day rides them.  She is okay with it and knows she was at a lose when her brother died.  But 3 went way out of control and I accept that.  But I feel like my mom would be a fight, she will not go lightly.

One of the ways I think will help my mom release herself is I am getting Married JUNE 1.  I used to scream into my mother's face about the lies of marriage and the lies of love.  Saying I would never marry, breaking her heart and dreams of making me a wedding.  Well I am hoping to attract her to the wedding. Let her see that I have found love, he is safe, and we will be fine.  Maybe letting her see the one thing she KEPT on me about was marriage and kids...SORRY MOM NO KIDS no way, no matter what.  We have a cat he is our child.  But maybe the wedding will help her.  I plan to have a ancestor altar at the wedding by the wedding altar.  I plan to have all the ones I have lost, mom and dad there on our sacred vow day.  I plan to let others bring their loved ones and set them there to join us in a day of love and hope. 

That is one of the workings I plan to do. The other is talking to my brother. Once those have both passed if she is still lingering I  will go another step.  Perhaps seeking someone to help but not charge me like I am a fool.  I have yet to charge ANYONE I have ever helped with spirits or ghosts....trade or food is cool gas money once to help me get to this FAR out cabin that needed to be burned down in my mind and I did my best but the activity was more then I work with.  I do not dabble with demons or summoned spirits.  Anyway, that is another story for another day.  But I hope I can figure out what to do with my sweet and wild mtn mother.  Her eyes that could burn through you and all her facial hair made people always ask if she was a witch.  She was but she could not read your fancy books, I would say.  She could not read, I tried to help her but she was not having it she was to proud to admit she could not read and she was sneaky with her ways of getting me to read for her.  She was a witch but not in the book smart sense.  Hell sometimes i just use books as hints and go with my guts, 9 out of 10 my guts are a better spell book.

So I am tired but that is the spirit story on my mind right now, my flesh and blood.  Mom is the only one haunting us and well time to see what I can do to help her be at rest.  She needs a good rest, she fought and worked hard enough to raise us.  If you are reading this, light a candle for my mamma, see her resting or moving towards a forest deep.  She needs a lil help knowing she is not with us no more, cause she got so busy fighting to be alive, she forgot she was dead.

This blog is the retelling of all the spirits and such I have witnessed.

I will start where everyone starts..telling you I was only 3 years old  living on Oak street and there came a tapping at the back door. I was tiny and holding a stuffed accordian owl whose head was bobbing up and down. I decided to hold onto said owl tightly and see what was at the backdoor. This was in the dead of winter my mom, brother, dad, and uncle were in our house on Oak street, on my birthday. So everyone who had been at the house to celebrate me before had left before the weather got to bad. So there was a knocking at the back door...I tried to tell everyone but no one was listening. Finally at some point the door slammed open and there was a older round mtn woman there staring at me. She looked alive but static covered, almost translucent she looked like my mom but older and bigger. She waved at me...my uncle came around the corner cussing and slammed the door shut. I told everyone someone was there, they checked and said there was no one the streets were dead cause the winter snow chased everyone in. But she was there and she waved at me. Later my mom would show me pictures of my great, great grandmother. And there she was the woman who waved at me when I turned 3 she had been dead for many years.
So here is where it begins to unfold. I will tell my experiences here and let others read and decide. I see ghosts...not like you think, I see the passed on, I see creatures that are not there, and I talk to things that do not speak our language. I am sure I could give a guru hundreds of  dollars to say I am a shaman or a wise woman or a spirit walker, but I figured out a long time ago the more you tell people what you see and what it means the more they force Dr. visits and pills on you. So this is my "haunting out" party, your welcome keep an eye here. I have a million more.
Let me finish though the story of my great great grandma...who was Cherokee mainly married an Irish man and raised a ton of kids including my own mom when she was little. They had the land, the farm, the animals, no plumbing inside, the real deal. I saw this land before it all went away. It was amazing. And for my mom it was her home away from home. My mom as I got older admitted that every night at 3am I would hear her sitting at the kitchen table smoking. I would hear the lighter light, mom take a puff, and the voice of another older woman talking to mom. EVERY night til I was a teen mom would sit up, smoke a menthol, and talk to someone. If you got up it would all stop and mom would be confused and shuffle off to bed. But I knew great great grandma was there, I could smell the tobacco she smoked, and the weird cotton ball molasses smell. I could see her outline in the gray of the darkness, like a weird spotted line like on TV with the static, I could feel the cold wisp by me as my mom came out of trance and had no idea she was talking or what was happening.  I tried to communicate with my great great grandma like my mom did but she never came to me like that. I Could see her passing by but never a whole conversation in the middle of the night over the length of a cigarette.  Mom finally before she left this world admitted to talking to her GGGmom said she could not remember what they talked about but sometimes it was about me. I later by 8 year old started to understand mom trancing out, cause my experiences kept getting stronger and stronger til I lost control, gained it, felt myself lose the abilities, and then gain them back to where I have control.  My great grandma may have spoken to mom more then me, but I saw other people's grandma's, their lovers, their friends,  I see people who passed so long ago they are like a thread in the air floating trying to hold onto the three dimensional world we live in. I see things that are not from here and sometimes get lost sliding through time and space into our little corner of the universe, I see them slink into the back corners of our minds. I see creatures we can accept with our eyes but most would call fairy tales. I see between the lines in your face, past your eyes if I want, to the eyes that have peered through you before this life, the other skins you may have warn. I can if I am deep enough, speak in tongues feel the air break so thin crushing the veil and the right mood, or the right listener, can hear these strange words and sounds come through me...sometimes messages if I go really deep but then I look like a crazy medium drooling and flailing around.
Why do I want to tell my tell. So others who have the abilities but feel judged or unsure or wanting to know how to be stronger then the spins can get some hope, some words. I do not do any of this for money currently, I have considered it, I have also done my abilities for money and found that the side effects were really weird. When you tangle yourself into other peoples webs you have to know how to pull yourself out without cutting their threads. Long story but I learned after trying to take some wages for spirit work that you gotta make sure you walk in clean, so you can leave clean. Trade is always safer, and sometimes just giving someone some help with some ghosts or cleaning the air is important to maintain my own balance.
You never know who around you can see things beyond you, I sometimes catch the eyes of another seer. They tend to look around the room more then at the faces, seeing what may have been there or who was there before, they tend to make eye contact socially but have a tense look that sometimes scares away new friends. A seer will sometimes hold up their hand and say "did you hear that" hoping that someone else did.
This is where I will tell my stories of seeing, this seems like a good place to start.